Satish Shrestha (सतिश श्रेष्ठ )

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Archive for August, 2010

Spiritually Impoverished

Posted by Satish Shrestha on August 20, 2010

I’m trying to be egocentric in a way
not to ignore or care less about people i actually care
nor to plunge myself in a miserable pool of guilt
but to discovery my inner self and glare.

Billion different memories, ideas, and figments
meander around my head twenty four seven
i am an incident, an ephemeral development
ye I realize it and now I’m panic stricken.

mother! sorry i am not proud of my entity
I know nothing, not even myself
save me from the material insanity
for eternal nirvana I must solemnly delve.

These realizations make me feel I oughta be stronger
but with no enlightenment I’m morbidly languished
all my vigour, vitality and patience grow thinner
mother! I am spiritually impoverished


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*Religious Experiences*

Posted by Satish Shrestha on August 15, 2010

Now, after graduating from a catholic school and exploring different major religions of the world, I am in a point where I consider myself an agnostic. However, I believe in spirituality and enlightenment. It is just that no religion that I know of actually satisfies my concept of god. If god really exists, I would want to respect him/her/it rather than being afraid of him/her/it. Here, I am attempting to recall some of my memories associated with religion and god.

Born and raised in a community adherent of Hindu/Buddhist religion and tradition, I am more acquainted with their traditions and cultures than their philosophies. As a person with immense faith on sciences, I am predisposed to viewing most topic logically. Thus, I was never complacent with what I knew about those religions. I have to admit that there are humongous number of things happening in the universe that I fail to logically understand. Nonetheless, I do not believe that they are impossible to be comprehended logically. I, and most people like me, just do not have enough resources to logically come to a particular conclusion.

My life in the US has given me an opportunity to learn and understand Christianity and its several denominations, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. I spent two years in Louisiana, a major portion of the bible belt. I do not know if the school I went to was affiliated to any particular denomination of Christianity. But Bible Study groups were hyper active there. I remember, on the first week of school, a young college kid came and asked us if he could share the table with us in the dining hall. After a brief introduction, he directly jumped into the topic of religion and asked me and my friend what religions we followed. I told him I grew up in a Hindu/Buddhist community but I did not follow any religion in particular. I do not know if he misunderstood me, but he carried on the conversation and started talking about a girl he supposedly knew who previously was a Hindu but later discovered her God upon converting into Baptist denomination of Christianity. He offered some hypothetical arguments to prove that Christianity was superior to any other religion. I was already losing interest in that conversation. But he kept on talking about his church and mentioned that he drove a new Chevy Malibu, which was a gift of god to him. I completely failed to understand how that car was a gift of god to him. Unfortunately I could not continue the conversation since I had to run to my final class of the day.

I was one of the few people in my dorm who was neither white or black. So it was rather easy to be ignored. But most native people who came and tried to befriend me would talk about bible and his/her church. It was not until the after first few months that I found peers who wouldn’t talk about religion. They were mostly South American and Asian exchange students. The first week of sophomore year was even more interesting. A new energetic guy moved in next to my room who would offer to buy me a dinner if I joined him in his bible study group. After avoiding his offers multiple times, which eventually made me feel bad, I opted to join him in his bible study session after my mid terms were over. The study session was held in a rather large hall and it started with a praise songs for Jesus Christ. The person who was in charge of the session was not an unfamiliar face. While most things he spoke were rather usual, I was quite struck when he said a person who does not know Jesus Christ is a fool. He extended his argument and claimed that in order to not be a fool, one has to follow Christ. His final statement was “Bible is the only book and Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven”. I have never been to a bible study session ever since.

Of all the religiously interesting things I encountered in my two years stay in Louisiana, the one I can never forget is a statement written in a restroom wall. It said, “My god can beat your god”. I do not want to know what that means. After accumulating some interesting experiences in Louisiana, I transferred to Gonzaga University after my sophomore year without actually knowing that it was a Catholic School. When I first came here and realized that it is a catholic school, I had an impression that Gonzaga might have even more bible groups. But as time went by, I was proven wrong. I am writing this note because I was recently reminded of bible study groups. Last Wednesday, I was offered to join a bible study group for the first time since I have been here. To my immense surprise most students at Gonzaga, a catholic school, are remarkably open to new ideas. They do believe in their god and have faith in their religion, but they have not attempted to sell their religion to me.

I respect religions. I do not follow one does not mean that I abhor them. However, I am not quite convinced with the concept of evangelism. In essence, it might be a divine concept. But every evangelical fellow that I have encountered have tried to sell me his/her religion without trying to understand and respect what I believe in. I have developed a pretty significant aversion to the concept of god business. It is quite surprising that none of the professor of religion I have met have tried to evangelize me. So what should I conclude with this ?

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